


one thousand feathers

by thestarsspokehername



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Oneshot, desperate Hinata, people look down on Hinata and both he and I hate it, somewhat of a character study?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:34:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestarsspokehername/pseuds/thestarsspokehername
Summary: As much as he loved proving them wrong, he hated that he had to do so in the first place.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou & Sawamura Daichi, Hinata Shouyou & Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 84





	one thousand feathers

“Woah, you’re really on the volleyball team, Hinata?”

“Yeah! I’m a middle blocker!”

The first year raised his arms over his head with a grin to show emphasis, causing a giggle to escape from the girl beside him. With the main preliminaries coming up fast in October, Karasuno had begun making a name for itself once more. With one eye aimed towards the powerhouse schools and another towards the underdog crows, the volleyball club worked hard to make sure they weren’t left behind by their competitors, in practice or support.

However, not everyone that supported them did so immediately, especially upon seeing their arsenal. 

“Uhm...I don’t know much about volleyball, but is that the position where you have to try and block the ball?”

“Hehe, yeah! That’s why it’s called “middle blocker”!~”

Hinata laughed, pausing outside of the door that led from the main building to the gymnasium. His classmate paused with him, tilting her head to the side in confusion.

“Wouldn’t you have to be tall for it, then?”

It was an innocent enough question, but it caused a dull throb of pain to erupt in the first year’s chest. It was a frequently asked question, but it still made his smile drop, even for a mere second. It was a question he loved to prove wrong but hated that he had to do so in the first place.

He wasn’t sure if it was the clear expression of frustration that was on his face or the ringing of the bell signifying the start of the next period, but his classmate hurriedly  bowed her head before turning to rush to her next class. She only glanced back at him once, the mixed look of disbelief and pity still swimming in her eyes.

Oh, how Hinata was starting to  _ hate  _ that look. 

  
  


\-----

  
  


Ever since he had seen the Little Giant fly on TV that day, he had gotten used to the surprise, the fake encouragement, the shutdowns, and, possibly the worst of all, the pity. The day he had told his mother was the first day he had ever truly taken her by surprise, confusion lighting up her eyes. He hadn’t paid attention to the way she bit her lip before speaking, how each word was soft and gentle, as if even the slightest of sharpness or confusion lacing her tone would shatter him as she stroked his hair back, murmuring,  _ “That’s lovely, Shouyou. Let me know how it goes.” _

And while Kageyama’s words of insult towards his height and “foolish determination” stung, they didn’t cut nearly as deep as the whispered words of the bystanders he and his teammates passed on their way out after their loss.  _ “Poor boys, going up against that school on the first day,”  _ one woman had whispered,  _ “but allowing someone as short as that orange-haired boy on the team...they did bring the loss upon themselves.”  _ It was a direct jab to his heart, one that both fueled his fire to become like his idol while also crushing his spirit, little by little. 

It only worsened when he got to high school and saw what he’d be dealing with there.

Kageyama. Tsukishima. Yamaguchi, Daichi, Sugawara, Asahi. All his teammates with the exception of Nishinoya were taller, better, stronger...and they all looked down on him at the beginning. It was to be expected; the jabs at his height, the gentleness lacing the third year's tones as they tried to convince him to try for a different club, the surprise on all their faces when they saw him leap. The look he hated so much seemed to disappear from the club after Asahi and Nishinoya rejoined, and he welcomed the feeling of normalcy that followed.

  
Yet, just because the club members had raised their expectations of him didn’t mean everyone else had. His classmates would awkwardly chuckle when he boasted about being a regular on the volleyball team, his upperclassmen would taunt him with jokes about being the ball boy, and his teachers would stare with that _look_ whenever he  mentioned the sport. They were like feathers, those comments and expressions; one by one on their own, they were nothing he couldn’t handle, simple things he could brush off. But as the years passed and that one feather grew to ten feathers and ten feathers grew to a hundred, and a hundred to a thousand, they became harder and harder to shake off. They stuck to his body and dragged his body down, piling onto him until he couldn’t breathe. 

And when one can’t breathe, they will do whatever they must to get air.

  
  


______

  
  


“Daichi, nice serve!”

The squeaking of sneakers was a welcome sound as his eyes dragged over his teammates' forms on the other side of the net. Ennoshita received the ball cleanly, getting it to Sugawara, who quickly positioned himself to set it. Hinata braced himself, his eyes peeled on who was approaching. Yamaguchi from the right, Asahi from the left, Ennoshita from the back; it had to be Asahi. 

Sugawara glanced at Hinata as the first year took off to the left, just in time for the set to be sent to the ace. It was a quick glance, one that Hinata wouldn’t have realized if he had been a second quicker in his movements, one that probably meant nothing- but in that split second, he swore he saw that same pity from earlier in Sugawara’s eyes, whispering,  _ “Oh, you poor thing, you won’t stop this ball with that body”.  _ And that was the final feather, the one that directly covered his mouth, the one that pressed his struggling body to the ground and restricted his movements altogether. 

His body shot off the ground with his arms stretched as far as possible, not paying attention to his body’s trajectory. In fact, he wasn’t paying attention to a lot of things; not to how Asahi’s eyes widened when he saw Hinata’s deadset expression on him, not to how Tsukishima had blocked the ball a millisecond before he arrived and got their side the point, not how he was on a collision course with said blond until it was too late.

The power of his jump was enough to send both of them to the ground, all squeaking and voices in the gym hushing near instantly. Hinata rolled over as his side met the floor, a small groan escaping him before he sat up, ignoring the throbbing of his side. Tsukishima slowly sat up beside him and a glare was sent towards the side of his head  as he rubbed his elbow, but Hinata paid no attention to him. After all, how could he when everyone else was staring at  _ him _ only?

The silence hung thick and heavy in the air until Daichi cleared his throat and stepped forward. He had seen it all; Sugawara’s set, Hinata’s jump, their collision. That wasn’t a normal play for Hinata by any means, no, that jump was nothing short of desperate. Hinata had been fine for the beginning of practice, so why now was he getting desperate-?

“Are you both-”

“I’m alright! And sorry, Tsukishima! Let’s get back to playing!”

Hinata’s sneakers were the only ones that squeaked as he stood to his feet, a normal grin on his face, but it quickly fell when nobody else moved. Daichi released a small sigh, scratching the back of his neck.

“Are you sure, Hinata? Maybe it’s best if you take a bre-”

“I’m fine, really!”

The orange-haired boy cut the captain off quickly, taking a step forward. Daichi reared his head back in surprise when he saw the desperation in Hinata’s eyes; not the desperation of wanting to be in the practice because of his love for the sport, not desperation to play because he truly was okay, but desperation that if he were to take even a moment’s break, something terrible would happen, and he couldn’t bear to let that happen.

Daichi placed a gentle hand on his shoulder as he took a step closer and was amazed to find just how tense his little body was.

“Hinata, I don’t think-”

“Why am I the only one that has to take a break?! Why aren’t you telling Tsukishima to stop, he fell too! Or is it because I’m short, so I need more breaks than anyone else?! Whatever the reason is, it’s wrong, so  _ please,  _ stop looking at me like that and let me play!”

His voice cracked at the end of his sentence, sending a murmur of worry and confusion through the team. Sugawara quickly ducked under the net to appear by Daichi’s side while Nishinoya and Kageyama jogged over, eyebrows raised. 

“Hinata...:”

Sugawara murmured, his hand laying on Hinata’s other shoulder, which only caused him to curl in on himself more, biting his lip harshly.

“What do you mean by ‘looking at you like that’...?”

The question caused the first year’s breath to hitch and he snapped his head upwards, brown eyes darting from one set of his teammates' eyes to another. There was worry and confusion, some annoyance from Tsukishima and Kageyama, but nothing of what he was-  _ ‘Oh,’ _ he realized as his cheeks heated up,  _ ‘I was...imagining it…’ _

Silence enveloped the gym once more as everyone waited for Hinata’s answer and he spent those few moments wallowing in embarrassment. Of course, his team didn't pity him, or sugarcoated what he could or couldn’t do, or beat around the bush with the truth; they had abandoned those things long ago. Instead, they believed in him and, when he had gotten lost in his festering sea of self-doubt and hatred for being looked down on, he had lost sight of that.

“...nothing!”

Hinata exclaimed after a final beat of silence, his signature grin overtaking his face as he looked up at Daichi and Sugawara. The two shared a nervous glance, clearly not convinced but their hands were ripped from his shoulders as Tanaka and Nishinoya practically tackled him away, ruffling his hair and reenacting his collision with Tsukushima, who was tackled next. 

“Well, I guess there’s no use in pushing it. Whatever it was...he got over it pretty fast!”

Sugawara laughed, patting Daichi’s back before ducking back under the net. Daichi huffed before shaking his head and calling everyone to get back to their positions to continue the practice, the sound of squeaking shoes filling the gym once more. 

Hinata laughed as he turned away from Tanaka and Nishinoya, but abruptly stopped as he saw Kageyama staring at him, volleyball in hand. The raven narrowed his eyes before bouncing the ball to Hinata, who shakily caught it.

“Be careful while flying, dumbass! Try that in an official match and Coach will  _ definitely  _ bench you.”

It hadn’t meant to be a threat, but with Hinata’s full-body shudder, it was clear that it had been anticipated as such. He hurriedly walked past Kageyama to take his new position as server.

“And you can fly over anyone that looks down on you, remember that.”

Hinata quickly turned to face Kageyama, unsure if what he heard was actually true or his imagination again. But the setter was already walking away to take his position, not so much as a glance towards him. Either way, real or fake, the words were like a fresh gust of wind that blew all the feathers behind him. They fell to the ground, turning ashen black upon impact before springing upwards, gluing themselves to his back in the shape of large wings.

He could fly over anyone that looked down on him, he could fly over anyone that looked down on him, he could  _ fly… _

His wings spread.

“Right!”

And he  _ flew. _


End file.
